"You look different today."
"Because I'm wearing makeup? Or my hair is flatter?"
*silence, long pause, suspicious staring*
"What's your middle name?"
"Erin... Wait, what?? Do you think I'm someone else?"
"Well, you look different. Maybe you're here so Kimber can go party. Hashtag partywife."
"So you think I'm just some backburner Kimberly?"
"The pork chops you made were really good..."
"Your wife doesn't make good pork chops??"
"My wife's pork chops aren't THAT good."
"But wouldn't you be happy to know there were a bunch of Kimbers out there?"
"It's like the woman who woke up with a cute animal sleeping on her chest... it would just be nice to know in advance."
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