Wednesday, June 22, 2016

On credit card fraud

"I'm really frustrated.  My credit card got scammed and I have to change all my automatic payments."
"Oh no!  What bills were set up on it?"
"I COULD MAKE A MEATBALL SUB!!"

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

On Monday drinking

(On a Monday evening at home)
"This was voted the best scotch of 2015.  Do you want to try it?"
"No thanks."
"Do you want to have a whole glass of it?"
"No baby.  I'm okay."
"You can just chug a glass."
"I'm not going to chug a glass of scotch right now."
"Do you have any other ideas?"
"What?  No?"
"No is not an idea!"