On an affectionate hug

"How can I crush you into something smaller?"
(He wanted to put me in his pocket.)

On a new diet

"You should eat as much as you sleep.  Hours-wise."

On being fussy

"Oh, I forgot to have a cookie!  I was too busy pouting."

On time travel

"What do you think nine-years-ago-Jon would do if you told him where we were now?"
"Oh God.  He'd be so nervous that he'd mess it up!  He'd have to do everything exactly the same... oh he'd be so anxious... I'm anxious just thinking about it!"
"Well, time travel doesn't exist, so you are just fine!"
"Thank goodness. .......... But I know how to time travel."